Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I skipped work to stalk him.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
