Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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