How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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