All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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