Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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