i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
