That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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