This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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