i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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