When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
