we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Randomize
