You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
