Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
