and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
