So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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