Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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