singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
