We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
