How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
