He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
