giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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