I just pynch a tree in the face
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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