Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
