I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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