if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
