i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
