My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
