Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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