Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
