I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
did i just pee glitter
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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