just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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