based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
