when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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