I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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