I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
