All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
