I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
