I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
