I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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