I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
