I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I smell like Dick and happiness
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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