no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
