i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
operation harelip BJ is a go
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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