Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
