Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
