I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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