no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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