You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
