so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
