he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
