So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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