I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
What drink are we having for lunch?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
